November 2023.
“The closer you get to your genius, the more you’ll face the sabotage of your fears.”
— Robin Sharma
I’m surprised. It seems I’m afraid of my own ambition.
Ambition is scary. It is. At least for me. And I’ve realized this only recently, I have long felt afraid of my ambition. It feels right to be afraid. This fear is not foreign, nor unnatural. It just is. Ambition is the pursuit of change. Change can be unpleasant, especially when living a ‘tolerable’ life. Change can drive people away; change can make you better or worse off. Change is entering the unknown. For he who seeks, the unknown is a land of opportunity. The unknown can also bring terrible danger. Being fearful is okay. It does not make you weak. What a person does in the face of his fears is what defines his character. Ambition is what fills those who pursue a vision like their life depends on it. That does not mean they aren’t afraid.
Ambition is scary.
Brainfood is this passion project that’s stemmed from nothing. I don’t know where this will take me but I am utterly possessed by a vision. I am the vessel. This concept struck me suddenly. I built a Notion page for myself compiling all the juicy ideas and content I want to save to feed my mind and soul. Once the barebone skeleton gained some meat to it, I saw a glimmer of what could be. As a guiding channel for those like me, this creation of mine could be something special for all those shooting stars and drifting explorers out there.
Brainfood is far beyond Prayan Jegathees. I could give this world something useful.
Never in my life have I known where I was headed. That’s not a fun place to be. Without clarity, life takes a toll. I had a legacy to build, but how? I had no real plan. Brainfood has taken me over and I believe I’ve found what I’ve been seeking. This is my true path. But still, the fear, the inadequacy, the anxiety remains. Fear is interesting in that way. How it spurs the gears in one moment and halts them the next. I feel out of my element. Uncomfortable and unqualified to hold the reigns on this project. This is good. This is what growth is. Level up. This vision is yours. I am the vessel. Let the creativity guide you. Be free flowing and the river will form of its own accord. You are no beaver, building dams as you see fit, forcing the flow one way or the other. It is not your nature. Be pure. Flow freely and you will manifest what this vision has in store. Humble yourself Prayan. You are no creator, no dictator. There is nothing for you to feel self-conscious of. Follow your duty. With time comes growth. This concept will be realized over the course of this journey. It will blend and take shape with years of commitment and revision. Brainfood is the vision, you are no more. Free yourself and allow the vision to consume you. There is no balance in greatness; there is only clarity in the divine. Follow the carved path. beyond logic. Give yourself up. This is beyond Prayan Jegathees. Such fire gleams within in you. Do not mute this energy, it will fuel your life’s work. Of course it’s scary. But that fear should not rule you. Step into your fears in spite of them. Adventure awaits.
Don’t live a boring life because you were too fearful to take a chance.
– Prayan Jegathees